Who Gets to Say What Pretty Is?

What do you do when you are watching one of your friends/family obsessing over their body and perceived imperfections?  The procedures, the money, the obsessive fixations, the blatant lies about what they are and are not doing to themselves?  When you are watching them become a caricature of their original self?  Do you say "hey...cut it out, you look ridiculous!"?  Do you intervene with love and concern?  Or do you say nothing because it's their life and their happiness on the line?  Maybe this makes them happy and you butt the f*ck out?  Who is any one of us to say what someone else should do with their body & face?  Who made any one of us the judge and jury on what looks "good" and what is "oh dear lord what have you done to your face?!"? 

Maybe they look at me and wonder why I'm not running to the surgeon to tweak this or change that?  Perhaps they believe I'm missing a chance to sculpt myself to perfection?  Maybe they look at me in my original factory installed parts and think "bless her heart, she should get that fixed!".  I've never been one for after market parts.  I can't even get fake fingernails because the fact that they aren't mine skeeves me out.  Get this foreign shiz off my fingers!  I also don't want to be disappointed in my God given parts.  Remember the colored contact craze?  All my friends did it.  I couldn't.   I kept thinking what if I love having blue eyes and when I take them out I no longer like my hazel eyes?  It just felt like I would be setting myself up for disappointment.  Life will give me plenty of disappointments, why would I want to add to that? 

I like things in their original state.  I mean, if you're miserable and a nose job will bring you happiness, I'm for it.  Sis Boom Bah Rah Rah Rah, goooooo you!  What I'm specifically talking about is the disconnect between what the brain sees and what is reality.  I'm talking about Doctor shopping when you're told no (sadly there's always going to be the Dr about the $), the constant state of healing from your last op and you're already talking about what you want to do next, the inability to enjoy life because you are obsessing over your looks, the constant comparing of yourself against other people, when you spend an enormous amount of energy preparing everyone for what you've done to yourself this time so when they finally see you they don't freak out.  That's what I'm talking about here. 

There's so much beauty and character in imperfections.  I never want to forget that.  I never want to feel disappointed or ashamed of my real parts.  Look, I have crinkles around my eyes.  They grow deeper each day & some days they bother me.  BUT I've never had horizontal forehead wrinkles, so I have that going for me, right?!  My nose is too big, but I have a good smile.  I have a long torso and short legs, but there are fashion tricks to elongating my legs & the end result can make me appear statuesque.  I sweat, I don't perspire, but I have pretty arm pits.  Didn't know there was such a thing?  Start noticing...arm pits are pretty ugs.  I am a bit goofy, but I can also be quite witty.  I tend to over analyze, but I genuinely care.  I can seem flight or flaky, but I am always sincere.  I have so many imperfections but I also have a lot of blessings.  WE ALL DO!

​Next time your attention goes to something you don't love about yourself, will you do me a favor?  Immediately think of something you LIKE about yourself.  Don't let that moment pass without also appreciating something about yourself.  Because you are pretty freakin awesome & somewhere right now someone is admiring something about you and doesn't see your "imperfections".  XOXO