My Crying Game Shower Scene Moment

You know the craving, right?  The one that hits and you can think of nothing else until you get it.  Chocolate.  Need.  Chocolate.  It's almost bed time.  House locked up, comfy clothes on, the dog and I are all cozy in bed.  We rarely have sweets on hand.  Clearly, I'm not leaving this house so I start to negotiate with myself.  Tomorrow if I get a good work out in, I'll scoop a candy bar on my way to work.   That's when it hits me.  I bought the hubby Reese's Cups last week and I do not recall him eating them.  I race to the pantry.  Please please please please.  My eyes are scanning each shelf at warp speed and then I see it.  The unmistakable orange wrapper peeking out from behind the soup cans.  YES!  I'll eat them and replace them before he gets back from his business trip.  I rip the package open shamelessly, and shove an entire cup in my mouth.  Oh.  Mah.  Goodness.  This is it.  This is EXACTLY what my body needed.  I'm savoring the chocolate and peanut butter as I stand over the island in the kitchen, arms extended full length, hands grasping the counter top on either side, leaning into how good this tastes.  Kinda like how you brace yourself for a roller coaster.  I'm all in and I need a seat belt!  I feel a tickle on my arm.  I swat at the tickle and return to my savor position.   I feel another tickle on my elbow.  Simultaneously, a tickle on my face.  Then my lips.  I haven't even swallowed the chocolate goodness yet when I look down at the package.  It's COVERED in ants.  HUNDREDS!   I look and there's an entire colony in the package.  They're EVERYWHERE.  They're in MY MOUTH!  

​I run as fast as I can to the shower.  Our shower water takes a long time to warm up.  Time is not on my side.  I jump in to the icy stream, spit the entire contents of my mouth onto the shower drain and aim the spicket directly into my mouth.  Every so often I remove the spicket from it's stand and give my body a spray down.  Wanna make sure those ants aren't just moving to a new location somewhere on my body!  I do this for what seems like forever.  I swear I still FEEL them.  I consider washing my hair while I'm in there, but it's late.  I tell myself to gain composure and stop imagining the ants running rampant on my body.  Certainly, I've drowned them all by now.  Right?  Better stay in the shower another 10 min just in case.  I continue flushing my mouth out.  OK.  I should have gotten them all by now.  I think it's safe to come out.  I dry off, I'm WIDE awake, grreeeeeaaaat.  I put the comfy clothes back on, brush my teeth (for the 2nd time tonight) and go back to the scene to access remaining damage.  The other 3 cups cannot be saved.  I pitch them.  I catch the tail end of an ant brigade disappearing into the walls of the island.  I set out ant traps and return to bed.  I tell myself I still have tomorrow.  I'll hit the Majik Market on my way to work.  I decide I'll get a Butterfinger KING SIZE this time and with that thought I lay down with a smile. There's always tomorrow.  Chocolate, you will be mine.