#metoo Please Don't Cock Block Me

By now, we're all up to speed on the #metoo movement. It's not fair a man can ruin the career of a woman who refuses their advancements.  Now we know why the beautiful and talented Mira Sorvino fell off the scene.  She said NO to a pig in power.  Simultaneously the equal pay for women movement is kicking into full swing.  Thank goodness! We have to pay the same amount for utilities as a dude does....the same price for housing, same price for a vehicle, etc.  Same bills, it's only right we get same pay.  Actually, considering what women spend to take care of ourselves, we should get MORE money than the fellas.  Ever try to get out of Sephora spending less than $50?!  Don't get me started on sanitary napkins.  That's money we HAVE to spend every month and it's going right into the trash and then a landfill.  Yeah, sorry.  I know.  Ugly visual, but let's be honest.  Ice cream sales, chocolate sales, wine sales...all of it goes up thanks to us and our monthly cycle.  This is also the part where I remind everyone how unfair it is women fall in love through our ears (talk sweet to us, make us laugh....we're hooked.  Pot belly?  We didn't even notice it!) and men fall in love through their eyes (if they don't like what they see, all bets are off, doesn't matter how witty we are).  You'd think the greater powers that be would have said for this reason, women shall all age gracefully and most will look better with gray hair!  And women will have metabolisms that keep their figures in check!  But noooo, they give men the better metabolism and the distinguished aging process.  THEN society gives men better incomes for the same jobs.  UGH.  So, yeah, I get it.  I understand this wave of women's rights.  I do. 

But.  Can I tell you something?  I hope the lines don't get so confusing that no one knows what's inappropriate and what's normal between a boyfriend and girlfriend.  If we're dating, you can flash me your penis anytime you like.  I hope you do!  I won't be offended if we're in a relationship and you ask for a blow job.  The girls claiming #metoo because they're BOYFRIEND was acting like a dirty minded boyfriend who thought they shared a mutual love of perversion can step off.  I WISH my soon to be ex had known how to be dirty, flirty and inappropriate.  To make me giggle like a school girl.  If we're talking at a party and you decide to make a pass at me because the vibe feels right, I hope you would!  Even if you read me wrong, it's ok.  How would you know if you didn't try?  What I hope doesn't happen is there is an under current backlash of men out there who are terrified to flirt.  Scared to make a pass.  Unsure if they can verbalize they like what they see.  Unable to trust they're reading a situation and a vibe right so they never go in for the kiss.  At my first real job, there was a guy at the top of the totem pole.  It was widely known he was flirtatious.  If he DIDN'T flirt with one of the girls, they wondered what was wrong with them.  Sometimes, we'd have to console the girl who didn't get flirted with.  "Of COURSE you're pretty! He must be having a bad day.  It's him, not YOU!  Maybe wear a deeper V neck tomorrow".  ;)    

I'm out in the world again as a single and I'm looking forward to that moment where the chemistry is there.  When a guy grabs you as only a guy can and you know they're gonna kiss you.  And you want to kiss them back.  When the electricity between you makes your eyes feel like they're swirling and your head is spinning. 

I guess what I'm saying to the #metoo movement is please don't cock block me.  I need this. I want to be outrageously flirted with! I can take care of myself.  I can shut down an unwanted advance.  I want mutually respectful, dirty inappropriateness in my life.  Please and thank you.