Judging Others is Not Our Job

I get reminders every so often in life of why it's not our place to judge.  Well, life has schooled me again on this topic.  DeeDee is married to a friend named Keith.  Keith is well dressed, well spoken, well kept and so congenial you'll be hard pressed to find a person who doesn't like him or want to be his friend. DeeDee is sloppy, curt, alienates others with her sour expressions and snarky comments. We could never understand her lack of hygiene or common courtesies.  Over the years, there were multiple head scratching moments regarding DeeDee's behavior and parenting.  Alarming moments, such as DeeDee strongly encouraging & condoning her young daughter's promiscuous behavior.  

Then, it happened.  They day we collectively suspected would come.  Keith moved out and filed for divorce.  According to him, he couldn't take it any more.  She couldn't hold down a job for more than a couple days, accrued 18 car accidents in two years shooting their semi annual insurance rate over $5k, spent almost all their savings frivolously, was not only sloppy but was unclean and she was "detached".  Seemingly not in touch with him or grasping the severity of the state of their marriage. 

Shortly after moving out, Keith learns the reason behind her odd behavior.  He learns she has been diagnosed with early on set Alzheimer's.  The Doctor says her mind is regressing and is currently equivalent to the mind of a 14 year old.  This condition will certainly get worse, the Doctor explained.  Since this news, Keith has decided not to pursue divorce and plans to take 100% care of her as well as take charge with his now completely out of control daughter (please note he acknowledges he has made bad decisions as a Dad...we can't pretend he didn't have ample time to get ahead of that train wreck.  It is never too late though!).

I was flooded with head scratching moments over the span of 13 years and wow.  This all makes so much sense now. 

I know I will have moments where I think "well, that sure was odd", or have an opinion of a situation.  However, I will stop short of judging.   I've once again been reminded it's not my job.