Hustlin

I am still doggie paddling through my schedule.  I keep saying I need to hit pause, regroup and recharge.  Evidently, life has other plans and does not care about my agenda.  I was feeling the percolation of anxiety bubbling up as I look at my calendar.  There's no sign of a break.   Before I allow myself to feel any more anxious (ie  grind anymore teeth down before my bite plate arrives, feel myself become impatient, exhibit frenetic energy OR get one more stress pimple!) I consider this thought.  If I die in my sleep tonight, I won’t think about the daily hustle or the schedule scramble.  I’ll be glad I made time for the people and things that make my heart smile.  That’s what I’ll be thinking about when I cross over.  All the other stuff?  Simply hoops.  Just hoops to jump through.  What will resonate in my soul is time spent with people I dig.  I think any regrets would be not making time for people who are important to me.  Not what task I didn't get to cross off my to-do list.  I also consider in all this hustle, I'm not spending enough time with one my bestest friends.  My dog.  A point further cemented when she bounces over, crawls in my lap happy I'm FINALLY sitting down and instantly falls asleep.  I don't dare move.  We need this moment.  I sip coffee, put my iPad away and soak up the next 15 minutes with her (I'd love to sit longer, but I have to get to work!).  I breathe deeply and realize I've not done that in days, weeks even.  Which means, by default, neither has she.  Pets always mimic our emotions.  I need to get on top of this anxiety for her as much as for me.  

Before I pop up and get rolling, I decide I will NOT cancel my plans to attend a graduation party this evening.  I will spend a moment with people I care about.  I don't have to stay all night, I will say my good byes with enough time in the evening to take a nice long stroll with my four legged bestest friend and cuddle on the sofa.  No iPad, no worries, no fret for what chore I should be knocking out, none of that.  I will sit my happy arse on that couch in fuzzy socks, a furry baby in my lap and not guilt myself for not working on my to-do list.