Breaking Down My Crush on Andrew Lincoln

I’m not a stalker, I’m not obsessed, I’m know it’s not a real romance, I’m very aware he has no idea I exist and IF he ever did, he’s not only NOT available, it doesn’t mean this feeling is reciprocated. I am not at risk of break into celebrity homes convinced the star is talking to them and only them with their eyes. I am a realist and I’m grounded. However, anytime I see him (via TV or a photo), he has a very real affect on me. My heart goes pitter patter. My eyes get swirly like you see in cartoons. I’m so attracted to him, I feel butterflies and at times make an audible sound involuntarily. Mmmm-mmm. Whew! Mmmm-huh! Sometimes it’s just louder than usual exhale. He. Does. It. For. Me.


Throughout time, celebrity crushes have existed. In my teens, I had Bon Jovi posters everywhere. I bought Teen Beat and pulled out the pages with my crushes, put them on my wall. I’m not alone either. So I decided to research this crush. I need to know why it’s so strong and if I’m somewhere on the mentally ill spectrum...not bad enough to stalk or break into his house, but perhaps enough to be a concern? I’m happily relieved to learn it’s quite normal to idealize a celebrity and in fact...it’s healthy! It doesn’t mean I’m a freak. The psychology articles I read said we can identify qualities we’re attracted to and use them to better understand the crush and why it feels so darn intense. We can use it as a tool to get to know what turns us on and then look for those traits in someone more...attainable and realistic.


Of course I know what turns me on. I’m older...I’m not living in Teen Beat era anymore where I’m still getting to know my sexuality. However, after a lonely marriage and brutal divorce, it’s not crazy to think I noticed something in Andrew Lincoln that I wanted so badly to have in my husband, in my marriage. I wanted our marriage to evolve and it was most certainly stunted. We weren’t to grow together because my x husband is a complete and total narcissist. He was a fraud. So...what in Andrew Lincoln keeps my attention?! Ahhh, it’s starting to make sense to me. What I see in him is integrity, honesty, a genuine interest and concern for other people, a man who will protect the people he loves, a man who sincerely appreciates and respects women. A man who can have a real conversation with you, connect with you, care about you and have emotions that run deeper than whatever purpose he thinks I can serve him. I base these observations not only on the character he plays on TWD, but from his interviews. Let’s face it, I’m also physically attracted to him. All of him...his hair long or short, his beard, his clean shaven look, his lean muscular build, his height, his lips, his style, his eyes. I met him and when he looks at you, he’s looking at YOU. He is present and in the moment.


Now that I don’t feel like a freak for my heavy crush, I can start looking for these traits in men I meet. I can find my real life Andrew Lincoln. Or at least I can hope. Until I do, there’s nothing wrong with me having the photo we took together at the Walker Stalker convention and I can swoon all I want. Wait....is Andrew asking me to call him? Hahahaha! A girl can dream and it’s HEALTHY! ;)