I've said lucky and been corrected.  I've said fortunate and been told no, that's God's work.  But, you know...while I wish everyone blessings regularly, pray often and believe in a higher power, I can't seem to say "blessed" when I'm describing my own or someone else's life's win.  The words get stuck.  I cringe when I hear someone else explain their life's win as being "blessed".  I feel a ping of "ick" inside every time.  Because to me, saying "blessed" to describe an advantage in life seems like God picks and chooses.  I understand the fundamental intent to appreciate your opportunities and advantages in life.  I do.  But, it skeeves me out to think a greater power arbitrarily answers one person's prayer while ignoring another.  "This one's prayer will be answered in the nick of time, but that one...they will keep falling til they hit rock bottom and have nothing left to live for.  This one gets a better hand in life, that one...well, let's make that one always work harder than everyone else but never really get ahead.  This guy....I give him....hmmmm...him, I give unlimited wealth while the rest of that bunch will always struggle.  You over there, you will loose a child, but you over here, your family will thrive.   I think I'll have this one horribly disfigured in an accident, but this one will be picture perfect!".  

​What I believe is we are all here of our own free will.  We make life choices along the way that help shape our lives.  I don't believe a higher power picks and chooses.  Sure, some have advantages over others.  Maybe it's coincidence, maybe it's the decisions made by the people who came before them, perhaps it's an accumulation of their own decisions, maybe it's the coming together of many things that creates that lucky break.  Maybe it's timing.  Maybe every advantage or opportunity is merely a small miracle, a lining up of stars on the 3rd Tuesday of the month during a harvest moon.  Maybe there's a kazillion variables in the equation and we'll never truly know.  Whatever.  But what I can't buy into a thought process that says a higher power sits and chooses who gets a break and who gets a struggle.  I can't.  I do think there is such a thing as divine intervention, but let's reel it in some and stop acting like that happens on a day to day, minute to minute basis.

So, if you see me get excited over winning $20 off a scratch off ticket, please don't correct me and tell me I'm blessed.  I will look you right in the eye, say today's my lucky day, then punch you in the throat.  Namaste.

That responsibility is to make something of the hand up.  Make the most out of this opportunity.  Because NO ONE OWES US ANY F*CKIN THING in life.  No one.  It's up to each and every one of us to make our lives the best it can be.  So, in those rare circumstances where someone is willing and able to offer a hand, we have to seize that opportunity.  We can't sit around, do absolutely nothing to help ourselves.  How can we possibly expect someone to do more for us than we're willing to do for ourselves?!  Just one person who sits around waiting for others to make their life better is one too many.  Until they accept responsibility,
assert control over their own lives, they will forever be a vampire.  
They will forever suck the life out of everyone around them.
​Siphoning the resources around them with no thought
to how hard OTHER PEOPLE work to replenish those resources.    

What separates the haves from the have not's are the people with integrity.  The people who refuse to play victim.  The people who dust themselves off to  HELP THEMSELVES.  The people who understand it is ultimately up to us what our lives are like.  I use to think being useless was the worst thing a person can be.  Nope.  Uh uh.  Nyet!  Not even close. 

​THE WORST THING A PERSON CAN BE IS A BURDEN TO OTHERS.   

 Who doesn't love a set of 2?  Stacey Q wrote a hit song off the concept in 1986.  Ok, maybe I just embellished there a little.  ;)
I am always attracted to the pump soap and lotion combos.  They look so elegant on my kitchen sink.  I'm on my, what, 100th set or so?  I'm finally realizing it's gotta stop.  I've gotta fight the urge to purchase these combos.  I'm acquiring a graveyard of half used products, forcing myself to use up every drop in every bottle.    Some of those bottles are going on the 3rd & 4th years.  Meanwhile, here I am again...my luxurious tomato scented lotion is still at full capacity while my luxurious tomato scented pump soap is almost gone.  I only have so much skin to moisturize!  A little goes a long way, ya know?  This is so reminiscent of my shampoo & conditioner combos!  Why is it these combos are never used at the same pace?   Probably for the same reason boys will always use our decorative hand towels to wipe up overflow from a toilet repair, leaving that beautiful hand towel unrecognizable.  Thereby sending us out on the almost impossible search to find the right shade of teal that will blend into the original set and remaining bathroom décor.  Sigh.  

​Pump soap and lotion combos, I will miss your elegant style on my kitchen sink.  But, it's time I take note of what's happening. We must break up before I completely run out of cabinet space.  Shampoo & conditioner combos, that goes for you, too.  I hereby pledge going forward I shall buy each product separately.  This pledge is long overdue.   From now on, the only sets of 2 this girl will buy is salt-n-pepper.  

No, silly, not the legendary duo, Salt-n-Peppa!  They ain't for sale!  Are they?  I mean, gosh.  Iffin I had the loot to buy my own living. breathing theme music to follow me around everywhere I go, I'd have to seriously consider it.  I'd forever be in a state of "bounce".  Bounce dat booty.  Bounce dat hair.  Bounce dos shoulders.  Throw in a few shimmies & whip out the pump walk.  The party would never stop.  The house would be pumpin.  You would always know where I was, just follow the beat.  Eventually, I'd loose my job for inability to concentrate and behave professionally.  People would fade out of my life, growing weary of the same songs (Very Necessary...one of the best all time albums!) on perpetual repeat.  I would no longer be able to hold a conversation for all the lip syncing and EXTRA on every movement I made.  When that moment came where I needed a break, what would I do?  Store the girls under the sink with the rest of product graveyard I've accumulated?  Hmmm.  Maybe if I did have the paper, it still wouldn't be my best purchase.  Yep.  I'm back to the pledge.  The only sets of 2 this girl is going to buy from now on is salt and pepper.  The inanimate kind. 

It's no secret I love animals.  I'm certainly not alone!  I wish people understood loving an animal  is not enough.  Honestly, I feel that way about all relationships.  Loving someone or something is not enough.  You can love, but if you aren't taking care, tending to needs, putting the effort in, addressing concerns, making them a priority when appropriate, then it simply is not enough.  Love is a fundamental requirement, sure.  However, there's a lot more that goes into maintaining a successful and rewarding relationship.  Anything less is cruel.  We can't say we love our pets and think it's ok to neglect them.  Before adopting a pet, we need to consider the expenses.  Can we and will we get proper vet care?  Can and will we be able to interact with them every day?  Can and will we give them basic care (food, shelter, water) regularly?  Can and will we make them a financial priority when appropriate?  I'm not sure at what point a person decides to adopt a pet then thinks they don't have to actually care for and feed it.  No it's not a wild animal that should and could fend for itself.  Or the people who adopt a pet only to decide they're inconvenient, so they ignore it or dump it somewhere.  There's a responsibility we WILLINGLY take on by adopting.  If someone is not willing and not able to pay for vet care (especially the occasional emergency care), then why do they adopt in the first place?!  Love is NOT enough.  You have to have the means and willingness to CARE for them.   It baffles me.  Truly.

I'm noticing how easy it is to talk "at" you through this forum.  I don't intend to.  It comes across judgmental and Know-it-all-esque.  I'm under no illusion I know everything or have all the answers.  I am barely awake, sipping coffee and I wanna bang out a few thoughts.  Next thing I know, the tone of the words appear as thought I'm talking AT you.  I'm trying  to avoid that, but fall right into it anyway.  Why is it like that?  It's just so easy to bang away on the keyboard and suddenly there's an accusatory vibe because of the use of the word "you".  What I mean most often is "the world" or "they", "those people", "that guy" or "me".  But "you" is universal and implies an audience...an audience I hope to have with this gig.  The hope is I give you a peek into my mind and it's interesting enough you stick around to read more.  Really what I'm doing is talking to myself, my adorable doggie and my Walking Dead bobble heads sitting next to the computer.  They cheer me on.  My lil furry baby staring at me with adoration.  Daryl & Negan bobbing those heads up and down seemingly screaming YES YES YES, if you feel this way, others may too, my sista!  PAA-REACH!  

​I like to see things from all sides.  When I do, I get lost in it.  Take side A and run.  Then side B and run.  Finally side C and run.  Now I have a 3 dimensional view of every angle and I can really make sense of something.  It's like method acting where they throw themselves in the character.  Whatever side I'm playing out in my mind, I take it all on.  I go all in.  I want to understand why someone else may see if differently, so I've enabled the comments feature on this blog.  I welcome your thoughts, interjections, takes and spins.  Let's flip it, smack it, rub it down then tuck it away and move on.  I love a good recap, rehash, debriefing and most of all I love it when someone opens my mind a little more.  Or maybe they give me good reason to feel the way I do.  Either way, let's talk it out!  

​So when and IF you're reading my blog, please know I mean to be inclusive, respectful and thought provoking.  I'm untangling the thoughts in my head and getting them on the screen so I can see them in black and white, hopefully to make sense of them.  Some times I start out with no idea where I'm going with a topic and it unfolds as I type.  It's cheap therapy!

​If you're with me, I hope you stay.  I hope you comment.  I hope you chuckle now and again.  I'm just thrilled there's almost 11 of you reading this everyday!  THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for checking out my blog and coming back.  I'm going to be more diligent in watching the tone.  If there's ever anything you'd like to discuss, let me know.  I love a good pow wow.  Grab your coffee and let's break it down!  ;) 

For me, it's important to take care of my things, the people and pets in my life.  Because taking care of your things and the people you love says something about who you are and if you're worth  two quirts. 

We never had the finest things in life growing up, but we were always clean, our home was tidy, and we took care of what we did have.  If you shared a meal at our house, you knew it came from a clean kitchen and it was made with love.  Our wardrobe was limited, but we laundered and cared for each garment to get the most out of it.  We didn't drive the most impressive cars, but we made sure of regular oil changes and addressed the needs of our car so it would be running strong for years to come.  If we put together a bag of donations, it was cleaned and treated right.  Sunglasses were put in boxes to prevent crushing, purses were stuffed with paper to keep their shape, clothes were folded.  We knew whatever we outgrew still had plenty of life in it and had a chance to go to another good home.

​That approach and care pays off time and time again.  Whether it's selling my first home during the height of the housing market crash at full asking price (well over the market value in that moment) because of it's pristine condition, saving money on repairs because we addressed basic maintenance needs promptly, or earning side cash through a consignment shop on a regular basis.  Even for me.  I'm not the prettiest or brightest, but by taking care of myself I've managed to age better than some ole school mates who were more fortunate looking.   

I consider how one takes care of their things, the people and pets in their life as a direct reflection of who they are and what THEY are really worth.  I don't think whoever owns the most toys when they die wins.  I think the person who saw the value in what they did have is the real winner.  Each and every time.   

Thank you notes, as far as I'm concerned, can be a text, an email, a phone call, a social media post.  I'm not so old fashioned that it MUST be a handwritten card dropped in the mailbox.  Although, I don't care what technology has to offer, I'm always gonna love my paper!  My card stock!  My binders!  My good ole flip the page with my hands, feel the paper between my fingers style note book!  My bookmarks and books.  LOVE it.  Oddly enough, I can't stand the way newspaper feels, so I prefer to get my news from the (reputable) internet.  And that ink....ugh!  It gets everywhere.  We have white cabinets and I can always tell where my husband has been.  Just follow he newspaper ink smudges all over the kitchen and out the door to the gym.  Whoa.  Where'd I go?  Lemme get back to my thoughts related to the post title!  

I'm not sure at what point it actually happened, but thank you notes are going extinct.  It's like a whole new world of "I'm not thanking you for taking the time out to think of me, because that's what you SHOULD do...think of me, spend your time on me and your hard earned cash on me, DUH".  And you can't blame the millennial generations.  Some of you Gen Y, Gen X & even Baby Boomers dropped the ball!    

Let's get one thing straight.  No one owes you anything.  Any time you are given a gift, it's because someone thought enough of you, wanted to celebrate you, made special accommodations to budget the money, then shopped with YOU in mind.  There's an entire process that goes into it.  In some cases, they went through the trauma of heading to the post office to ship a box, or paid extra to have a gift shipped.   Maybe they picked out the perfect gift bag/box and can't wait to present you with it and see your facial expression when you realize that brightly packaged gift is for YOU.  If they are like me, they take great care in finding the right ones, and they can not wait for you to have it.  I get giddy when I know I've found a fantastic gift for someone.  I don't expect a thank you acknowledgement for every kind gesture or gift, but certainly when you go above and beyond or you ship me a gift, I will take a moment to express appreciation and sincere gratitude.  

Look, I'm open minded to advancements.  This world has gotten away from mailing letters and such.  I get that.  I can evolve.  I love my tech gadgets, social media, texting, too.  But what I don't understand is when I ship a gift and there's no acknowledgement, whatsoever.  Then, I gotta be the jerk tracking down the package and making sure it wasn't lost in the mail.  The money I work hard for and the gift I chose for you could be lost in a postal sea, so now it's up to me to see if it arrived.  In this case, a thank you acknowledgement also serves as a confirmation of delivery!  I find it incredibly rude when I learn oh no, they got that package two weeks ago.  Whatevs.  Rudy McRuderton, could you be any more rude?!  So here I am INVESTING MORE TIME and effort into making you feel special only to learn you were dismissive about receiving my gift.  Even if you hate the gift, it's not the point.  It's everything that goes into and behind it.  You thank the giver for taking time out of their life to appreciate you.  If you can manage the effort to send a shower invite or wedding invite, you can muster the energy to shoot a quick acknowledgement of a gift.  You don't have to love the gift, but you damn sure need to acknowledge it like you got some proper home training along the way somewhere in your life.  

You don't have to sit down and write a freakin poem on expensive birch paper, buy a stamp and drop it in the mail, either.  All you gotta do is text, email, SnapChat it, FB it, something.  "Hey, you.  Got your package.  Thank you."  It's that easy, folks!  Literally takes all of 5 seconds.