UGH! Stop it.

A lot of us have no idea how to listen.  There are times the best possible thing you can do is simply LISTEN.  Don't cut someone off with your experiences, tell them how you got it worse, try to one up them because you think it will make them feel better about their life or even feel like you need to offer advice.  Just zip it.  No one wants your advice UNLESS THEY SPECIFICALLY ASK YOU FOR IT.  

If someone says "ABC or XYZ happened to me...", before you cut them off with your version of a similar story, please think twice.  Maybe you can commiserate or identify, but hold that in your back pocket.  Use it as a tool to allow you to connect with the person sharing, but you don't have to take over the convo or turn it to yourself.  Especially when their experience is recent and yours is no longer a current event.  It's their time to speak.  Their experience is now.  Let them speak their mind, get it off their chest. 

When you cut them off you short circuit their download.  Please...can we all do better?  Don't short circuit someone's attempt to download in a safe place.  Because if they are sharing with you, they consider YOU a safe place.  That in itself is quite special...someone feels safe sharing with YOU. 

You don't have to fix the problem, find the perfect advice, overshadow their struggle because you have an example of a worse situation.  Just listen.  You'll be amazed at how effective and comforting it can be for someone else for you to be there.  Just BE there.  Don't think about what YOU want to say next.  Zip it. 

​Ears open, mouth shut.  Do better, be better.