I live across from approx. 40 acres of pasture where my neighbor has heifers he rotates for breeding.  It's usually loaded up, but for a good while now, he's had just 4 heifers.  I'm a former city girl, so it's all exciting to me.  Up the street my other neighbor has 3 horses, a mini horse and a donkey shaped like a dumpling with a face that looks like it was created at Build-A-Bear.  Seeing my new "friends" every morning has become routine.  It's a peaceful time of day, sun rising, lot's of lush greenery, birds chirping and new friends to greet.  I love this zen moment before my day kicks into full swing. 

I walk the dog this morning and the cows came running over when they see me (ok ok ok!  I know it’s because they associate me with cow treats, not because they actually like me, but let’s pretend.  I do so love them trotting over every morning.  Too.  Dang.  Cute!).  So.  They get up to the fence and I immediately notice.  They’ve been tagged.  Lisa.  Beyonce.  Becky.  Gwen.  Respectively, they are now 61, 62, 63 & 64.  I am heartbroken.  The girls come closer and nuzzle me when they see my sadness.  Gwen scoots in the closest, muscles the others back then spits on me good.  It's clear she pushing me away so it's easier to say goodbye.  Even cows hate to say good bye, I reckon.**       
 
I decide to reach out to my neighbor and offer to write a bio on each cow so when they are being auctioned, the buyer can get a feel for who they are adopting.  Whuuuut?  YES, it IS an adoption and I refuse to think anything else.  LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.  I can’t hear you.  It’s an ADOPTION. 

My neighbor responds by letting me know the tags are GOOD things as they are pregnant and now he'll be able to keep track of them.  I point out the tags aren't necessary.  Each cow has it's own personality and different markings. Kinda obvi if you're paying attention, but OK, tags are a good thing, let's not loose sight of that.  I learn I have til fall to plan their baby showers and decorate the nursery.  I'm thinking earth tones, natural lighting and fire flies as the theme.  I might even get to see one born!       

**The truth is Gwen spit on me when she realized I had no cookies on me.  How funny is that?!  I burst out laughing.  She’s like beotch, please!  I don’t want your friendship, I want my dang cow cookies!  Ah, Gwen.  Always keeping it real.

OMG, guys!  With the evolution of social media, it's becoming more and more apparent who in my friend list is obsessed with themselves.  Facebook has become fuel to feed their over inflated sense of self. 

You know you're narcissistic when:
*it's your kid's birthday and your tribute post is a selfie of you.  JUST you.
​*you change your profile pic every day to a new selfie.
​*the whole extended family gets together for a reunion and the only pic you post is a selfie captioned "great time with family at the reunion".
​*you feel it's important to post a selfie for every location you visit throughout the day.
​*you feel it's important to post a selfie for every action you take throughout the day.
​*post selfies and compliment yourself in the caption.  Every.  Single.  Day.
*on the rare occasion you post a pic of your kids, you make them stand behind you so your face is the focal point and their little faces are obscured.
​
​Yup.  That's a real person, not a collaboration of observations....that's all from ONE person. 

There are the people who can light up a room and there are people who suck the life out of a room.  Who do you gravitate to?  The person who offers an easy smile and has a sparkle in their eye?  Or the person who sizes up the room like it's a prison yard wondering which one of these muthf*ckas they gon' shank? 

​If your life is hard you are not special.  Welcome to the human race.  Nobody cares about your poop, they have their own poop.  Slap a smile on your face and get on with it. You'll be surprised how much lighter you can feel.  Fake it til you make it. 

I'm empathetic.  The interstate can be intimidating for some drivers.  Here's a helpful hint.......that access road allowing you to get onto the interstate, that's called an ACCELERATION RAMP.  You are to ACCELERATE to a speed matching the pace of the cars so you can easily and (most importantly) SAFELY blend in with the traffic already at full pace.  If you do not ACCELERATE on the ACCELERATION RAMP you make it unsafe to merge into existing traffic.  Not only do you create an unsafe situation for yourself, but you put other drivers at risk.  The ramp to get off the interstate is the DECELERATION RAMP meant to help you slow pace and blend with start & stop traffic.  Please don't confuse the two.  They have very specific and different purposes.  Adherence is key!  When we follow the rules of the road, we are all safer.

It's effective communication.  You don't have to go into a huge dissertation, but it's proper etiquette.  ESPECIALLY in business.  Look, people are patient if they've been acknowledged.  It's this easy...."Received your request.  Will follow up by end of week".  You don't have to jump right then, but let a sista know you're on the case.  Set the expectation up front as to when you'll be able to address their request.  In the biz world we call it transparency.  Be transparent.

​It's also common freakin courtesy amongst family & friends.  A text goes out trying to identify a day the whole group can meet up.  You need time to discuss it with your spouse.  Instead of leaving everyone hanging, all you have to do is say "Sounds fun!  Will let you know by (insert a day here)".  Boom.  Done.

​You can acknowledge someone without making a big hub bub.  Consider sending an appropriate emoji.  No words needed.  I may get a message from the boss asking me to mail an invoice.  I will reply with a thumbs up.  I may get a message from a friend showing their baby is wearing the gift I sent.  I will reply with a heart eyed smiley face.  It's not hard to be considerate and it's virtually painless.

     Just be considerate and respond.  Don't leave people to wonder, speculate and assume.